An afterthought
Posted on: 11/8/2021
It is 2:21 A.M. the day of the deadline as I’m sitting on my bed, unthoughtful and unreflective, typing and deleting streams of consciousness. I’m not really sure what to share and what not to, or whether I have anything to share at all. I was wondering why one would give a dozen of 17 years old an opportunity to write about themselves for ten full pages, then my eyes were open when I heard empowering, touching stories from my classmates. I constantly remind myself of the differences among people, among my peers, but I also constantly let it slip my mind. Those stories, big or small, are all uniquely insightful and of significance to the writers. Then I started to ponder on the reason why I chose to write about my stories. I could easily word-vomit a 10-page essay about how I decided to pursue an education in Singapore and how that has made me the person I am today, but I chose not to. Ever since I came here, consciously or not, I have been trying to build a new life. Facing the unknown future does not scare me, but forgetting the past does. I’m terrified when I struggle finding words in my own language. I’m terrified when asked to represent my culture or my country as I don’t know much, or barely anything at all. I left home at the age of 16 with the thrill in my heart to just explore the world. I left home at the age of 16, knowing too well that I might not ever come back. I’m terrified of the day when I come back to Ha Noi only to realize that I have become a visitor in my own city. Thus, I chose to dig deep into my early childhood years because I don’t want to forget. I dig deep so that I can appreciate what I’ve left behind and where I came from. It is and will always be a part of my identity, and I cannot be more proud.
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