Michelle Nhung Le

Posted on: 13/9/2021

My mission for that day was simple. I woke up at 7 on a heavy snow day, the horrifying view of whiteness on the window greeted me. However, the true horror lay beneath the whiteness – my objective for that day.

“It’s very simple, man” – my conscience noted to myself – “You just need to stroll down to Shoppers…
“Which is a hell of a 20 minute walk” – I interrupted him
“Yes, yes” – he replied, laughing my own concern off.
“Are you telling me that I will have to walk to Shoppers, undergo the heavy snow, then burn around the makeup session and then buy her a lipstick?”
“..which is on sale and is very very cheap” – he chuckled – “Valentine sale can be very tempting”
“AND you don’t even KNOW what her favorite color of lipsticks is?” – I exclaimed. – “Or whether she even LIKES lipsticks!”
“Well, I don’t know about you” – he replied calmly – “But I would marry a guy who dives through a snowstorm just to buy a lipstick for me. Lipsticks are like free pizzas, man.”

To prepare for the weather, I put on my white heat-tech t-shirt, overlaid by two dark sweaters and an even darker coat, and so was my collection of pants. The balaclava did help contribute to my shoplifter cosplay, so were my dark thick gloves. Looking from a distance, my figure was like the Arctic Avengers terrorists from the game Counter Strike. I grunted to myself: “What would be even better is that I have guns in my pocke… Oh!” – I was astonished as I pulled out the revolver props from our last drama rehearsal. My heavy boots slowed me down since the sponges of snow kept trying to consume them with every step. The kamikaze snows to my face felt like it was Pearl Harbor all over again, with me as the unlucky US ships.

With the melting snow dripping on me like Niagara Falls, I tiptoed carefully to the makeup section of Shoppers. The squeaky sound of my boots every time I tried to bend down to look at the lipsticks didn’t help either. “A good lipstick color has to fit the skin tone” – with the not so vague advice from my friend, I tried to put on some of the lipsticks on myself for testing. Some people passed by me with eyes of judgement. I raised my phone up as if I was checking a shopping list, but the blank screen sold me out. With my lips as widely pouted to the mirror as possible, I carelessly drew those red shiny pens on, but as a woman was approaching my place, I covered my mouth and coughing as if I was having a bad cold.

“Draw it on your wrist, doofus” – yelled a woman at me.
“Excuse… me?” – my imaginary cough kept going.
“You don’t have to put it on your lips” – she laughed – “Just draw a line on your wrist like this” – she grabbed my arm and shaped a rainbow of lipsticks on it.
“Are those for your girlfriend?” – asked the cashier, and every woman I bumped into at Shoppers – “She must be a real fan of Maybelline.”
“Well, not really, we are not actually dating… I don’t even know whether she likes lipsticks or not” – the same rambling answer came from me – “and Maybelline was on a big sale here, so affordable” – I chuckled, much to their confusion.
“Oh… kay, so how would yo like to pay?”
“Credit, please”
“Sure”

At the moment I pulled out my wallet, the cashier screamed frantically, much to my surprise. I noticed my hand was not gripping on my credit card, it was the toy gun. The next thing I know, an enormous security guard hit me like a player at the Super Bowl and I blacked out for a while.

With all the trouble I bumped into for a bunch of lipsticks, the payoff was much to my satisfaction. Her whom-I-just-found-out-on-valentine boyfriend bought her a pair of Colourpop lipsticks online. Sadly, he didn’t get to embark on such journey like I did, with a heartwarming lesson: she doesn’t even like Maybelline.

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